Canada comes Calling

Well- Holly and I made a purchase today. In the true spirit of Christmas, after recieving more than we need or want in the form of gifts, we proceeded to go to the local malls and bookstores to spend even more money on ourselves. While browsing through the 3 for $25 used DVD collection at the local Blockbuster, we spied a copy of a little movie called "Decoys". It looks like a movie that you wouldnt pick up at the movie store for fear that others might see you looking at the back... and it is one of those movies. But this movie is special to Holly and I. This movie is a milestone in the life/career of TJ McCloud. This is his soundtrack debut.
Let me explain. Some of you know this story- others may not. About a year and a half ago, I got a call from a very serious sounding lady who said she represented a film company. I said- "..ok... great... what can I help you with?"
She asked me if I was TJ McCloud and I said something smart like... "Last time I checked."
Yeah. Cute.
Then she asked me if I was the writer of a song called "The Airplane Song", aka "Miles Between Us".
"Yes, that's me", I said.
"The director of a movie we are producing would like to use your song in his film. Are you who we need to speak to? Should I talk to a manager?"
"Nope. Im all those people."
So here I am on the phone with someone who wants to put one of my songs in a movie. Thoughts start to rush through my head. What if its some amazing indie flick that will win every award at Cannes? What if it gets picked up by some major for distribution and the song becomes an anthem for broken-heartedness everywhere? So We begin to talk about the movie.
"Where are you located? Is this a full length picture, like not a student film or anything?"
She assured me that it was in fact a fully budgeted, full length film by an independent Canadian film company.
"Oh." Canada. Hmm.
"Well, what kind of film is this- genre, or whatever?"
"Well- it's a sci/fi-horror film"
All my Hollywood daydreams withered on the vine.
An independent Canadian sci-fi horror film.
"Alright- uh... whats the plot- I mean does this song even work for y'all?"
She began to explain the plot of the movie. "Aliens, disguised as college sorority girls, are killing all the young men on campus."
Sounds reasonable enough.
A horrible thought went through my head.
"This isn't a porno, right?"
She laughed. No, of course not. She described it as featuring only minimal T&A. She actually used the term T&A. Ok.
"What's the budget for the song?" I asked, realizing that there could be something good to come out of this.
" Two hundred dollars, American."
Immediately I realized that there was no way anyone, let alone anyone I know will ever see this movie. No chance of Grandma coming across TJ's music in the middle of an alien sex romp- no chance that any of my friends will see the movie and realize that it was not as big a deal as I might allow it to seem... only good can come of this. Two hundred dollars I could use at this point, and the ability to say I have a song in a movie. Deal. Let Canada have the song.
I agreed and told them to send me the papers to sign. They did, I signed and I never heard anything else about it.
Earlier this fall, at the close of the recording process for "Kind of Life", Donnie Boutwell and I were sitting in his studio mixing one of the songs. Donnie is a sci-fi junkie and keeps the sci-fi channel on 24-7, even while he is working, just with the sound down. As we listen to the music, staring absent-mindedly at the TV screen, a trailer for a movie comes up. All I see is college girls, aliens, and the title- but I knew, just knew that it was the one.
"Donnie!!! TH-TH-THATS MY MOVIE!!!!"
"What?"
"That's my movie- the aliens- the college girls- it's called "Decoys"- that's my movie!"
I hurriedly told him the story. The movie was coming on the sci-fi channel that evening at 7 oclock. I called Blake Howard and we got together to watch it. At this point, I didnt even know if they ended up using my song or not. I never heard anything back from them and figured that if the movie had gone into sydication for national TV- they might let me know. Nope. This little indie Canadian horror film had made it into the television... my television. I was kind of pumped... but nervous. This movie could really be bad.
We watched. And watched. And watched. Then, at the end of the movie- after all the alien vixens had been melted, burned, staked or gunned down, the main character and his girlfriend finally got together. Insurmountable circumstances had brought them to this final moment and they were proclaiming thier love for one another and in the back ground- shhhh... here it comes. The Airplane Song. How sweet. I had thought that there was no way to make a sad song about losing love fit into a monster-fest, but I was wrong. Here- at the end of the movie....
And then she turns into an alien and eats him. End of movie. Roll credits.
I laughed for a long time. I'm glad they killed my song like they did.
Since then, i have gotten the occasional email from Nova Scotia asking where to find the song... Apparently it was a hit in Canada. Cool. I mean, it's no Phillipines... but what the heck.
My In-laws stumbled on the movie in the video store (look for it at your local Blockbuster), and knowing my song was in it- rented it, sat down and watched it. They blushed when they told me they had seen it. I did too. Grandma, to my knowledge, has not seen it yet.
So- here we are at Christmas, spending money at Blockbuster's that we really don't have, on a movie that we really won't watch, as a momento for the time when Hollywood- well, not Hollywood... Canada came knocking on TJ's door. www.decoysmovie.com